One Million Years B.C.

So, this is a movie for people that don't like dialogue. The only spoken 'words' were proper nouns like a name or perhaps title. I can't imagine how this film made Raquel Welch famous. Maybe it was because she spent the entire film wearing a two piece fur bikini. Daniel doesn't think she is even an actress, she is just a body that got lucky. A body with an amazingly tiny waist.

Supposedly its a love story. That's what Daniel says. I admit, I did not watch it at all. It was so stinking boring to me. Anyway, its a love story between Loana of the Shell people and Tumak (an outcast from the savage Rock Tribe).

Tumak gets in a fight with his dad, the leader of the Rock Tribe, and gets kicked out. Loana and some other Shell women (who are all blonde by the way) see him, and Loana nurses him back to health. Unfortunately, Loana was sort of engaged. Anyway, Tumak's presence causes too much drama, so the Shell people send him away and Loana goes with him back to live with the Rock Tribe.

One of the silliest scenes is where Loana and Tumak are with the Rock people and they get to a body of water, so she jumps in. The cave people start enjoying themselves then a giant dinosaur bird thingy (sorry, not an expert) comes and attacks. Clearly, if you ever try to enjoy yourself, you will be attacked by a big monster bird reptile.

Anyway, I suppose the ending was happy enough. There was some sort of initiation of war between the two tribes, and an act of God, i.e. volcano eruption, stops the war and ends up combining the two tribes.

I know, I just ruined the ending for you. I am not really sorry, you don't watch this movie for the story. You watch it to be amazed at the unshaven men, and surprisingly groomed women.

Anyway, if you like watching really fun claymation special effects this is a great film for you.


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